Woman Raped By Cat

A woman recently ended up in the hospital with her ..ummm… genitals.. mutilated.  How did it happen?  Well it's quite a story, but it is absolutely true.

One day a lonely housewife named Svetlana visited her friend Vera.  The women shared a bottle of wine and had some girl talk.  Svetlana was sexually frustrated because her husband was always out of town, traveling on business trips.

Vera suggested they try something unusual to relieve their frustrations.  She called it "the real thing".

Enter Timka, the family housecat.  Do you see where this is headed?

Vera took off her clothes, put on a porno and laid back.  She sprinkled an herb called valerian inbetween her spread legs.  The smell of the valerian attracted the cat and he began licking her.  Once Vera had experienced this she told Svetlana, "there's nothing better than that cat's little tongue".

Svetlana tried it next.  When the cat began licking her it became crazed by the valerian and latched on to her private parts with it's claws and teeth.  Svetlana tried to push it off of her but it held on.

Vera went and got a bucket of water and emptied it on the cat and then threw it outside.  When she saw how much Svetlana was bleeding she called an ambulance.

At the hospital doctors thought Svetlana had been attacked by a crazed sex maniac who slashed her genitals.  She broke down and told them the true story of what had happened.  When she returned home from the hospital her husband was back and she also had to explain what happened to him.  He threw her out of the house and has filed for divorce.