Fish With Legs Invasion

Tonight, Wendy, Walter and I went out to pick up something to eat.  When we came back, Wendy was carrying the bag of food to the front door while I went around to get Walter out of his carseat.

Before I could get Walter out I saw that Wendy had stopped at the edge of the steps, and was backing away.  I asked her what was going on and she told me.. "It's like a fish with legs over here."

Ok.  So what do you think it was?  I had a lot of ideas going through my mind, one of which entailed whether or not someone had slipped Wendy a hit of acid today.  So I left Walter in the car for the moment and walked over to see what kind of animal, fish or mineral was masquerading around my front porch as a walking fish.

Then I saw it.  The monstrosity had stopped walking, but was now sitting there, on the step, like a huge ugly horsefly on steroids.  I asked Wendy what we should do, well, because obviously we were not going to walk right past it to the front door.  Wendy told me to step on it.  Ummm… I would have broken my foot if I had tried to step on it!  This was not the kind of bug that you can just squash.. I wouldn't atttempt it without a hazmat team on standby anyway.

So I picked up a stick and poked it, hoping it would move.  The huge prehistoric insect SCREAMED at me – and I screamed back.  I looked around to make sure the neighbors weren't coming out to see what was going on.

"And now I have angered it." was all I could say to Wendy, as the fish with legs took flight and was at this point hanging like a bat by our front door.

I decided to be brave about it.  Wendy wanted to go around to the back door, but I did't want to carry Walter up the back steps.  So I got Walter out of the car and headed back to the front door.  It had decided to leave by the time I got back.  Wendy said she heard it land with a thud somewhere in the front yard.  I thought I felt the ground shake a little bit.

We got inside and looked up the bug on the internet.  Turns out the walking fish, prehistoric bat monster was actually a cicada.