Boys Will Be Boys
..especially when the parents are out of town.
I wonder what the neighbors thought of Ron's Slip and Slide Extravaganza  :lalala:
[youtube]DPp2HlIMkmU[/youtube]
What Color Crayon Are You?
| You Are a Blue Crayon |
 Your world is colored in calm, understated, deep colors.
You are a loyal person, and the truest friend anyone could hope to find. On the inside, you tend to be emotional and even a bit moody. However, you know that people depend on you. So you put on a strong front. Your color wheel opposite is orange. Orange people may be opinionated, but you feel they lack the depth to truly understand what they're saying. |
Strange how accurate this survey seemed to be! Although my favorite color is Orange, I am a Blue crayon. I guess opposites do attract.
So tell me, what color crayon are you? Take the quiz and let me know!
Courtroom Quotes – Better Than Lawyer Jokes
I saw these hilarious courtroom quotes over at Ross Hetherington's blog and couldn't stop giggling.
They are supposedly actual quotes from the courtroom, and I'm guessing some of these lawyers wish they could strike them from the record! Ross quoted some of his favorites and then gave a link to a whole slew of them here. See if you can help but laughing!
For instance:
- Lawyer: " Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: " Did you check for blood pressure?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: " Did you check for breathing?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
- Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
- Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
- Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
- Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
- Witness: "Four times."
- Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
- Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
- Witness: "Oral."
- Lawyer: "How old are you?"
- Witness: "Oral."
- Lawyer: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?"
- Witness: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital."
- Lawyer: "It was covered?"
- Witness: "Yes, bandaged."
- Lawyer: "Then, later on…what did you see?"
- Witness: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head."
Lindsay Lohan Cops A Plea
In other celebutard news today, Lindsay Lohan's attorney got her a great deal at her hearing. She'll do the revolving door jail trick as well and may serve less time than Nicole Richey did!
Lindsay pleaded no contest to two counts of DUI today. If you've been paying attention, that equals a mandatory 5 day jail sentence in the real world; however in retardville it's only about 82 minutes.Â
But wait, the harshness of a mandatory jail sentence has been buffered a bit for Lilo. The judge cut her mandatory sentence in half.. and now they are calling the mandatory sentence 4 days, not 5. So to serve 2 of the days Lindsay will do 10 days of community service instead of hanging out at Lynwood.Â
Also, the judge gave Lindsay 1 day credit for the time she spent in the pokey after being arrested… Hmm.. I didn't know she went to jail actually, I had thought she was whisked away on a magic carpet to rehab again. I guess it depends on exactly which DUI we're speaking of really.
Anyway, after the community service and credit for time served we now see that Lindsay will supposedly need to spend 1 day in jail. That's 24 hours, right? Not exactly.. the federal court guidelines slice that time down. Remember, Nicole Richey was supposed to serve 96 hours and was out in 82 minutes because of good behavior and the "guidelines".Â
I'm no good at math, but…
if 96 hours = 82 minutes
then
24 hours = ?
Can you figure out this equation for me? Will Lindsay Lohan be at the jail long enough to get checked in? Like I said, I'm not good with math…
Nicole Richie Spends 82 Minutes In Jail
Wow..
Nicole Richey reported to jail today for 82 minutes and then was released. What a friggin' joke!
This is what you get for driving under the influence of drugs and a 2nd DUI conviction. 82 WHOLE MINUTES in jail. It is unclear as to whether or not she even made it to a jail cell before they sent her on her way.
Richey was sentenced to 96 hours in jail. Based on federal court guidelines – seeing as how she was cooperative – UGH – she was free in less than an hour and a half.
No wonder she was so smug looking in her mugshot and NO WONDER she was giggling about jail time with David Letterman. This is a joke, but unfortunately I just don't get it.
How long will it be before one of these celebutards kills someone? I hope it never happens but this celebrity DUI shit is out of control. And with a harsh penalty like 82 hours in jail – why should they even worry about the consequences of driving drunk.. once, twice, or all of the time.
Richey has paid her debt to society. Yeah… ok. As soon as she recovers from having her baby, someone needs to kick her in the ass.
Kid Eats A Hot Pepper
Hahahaahahaaaaa…..this kid eats a hot pepper and tries not to cry…
[youtube]mFriB4FyLsg[/youtube]
Americas Got Talent Winner
Terry Fator won America's Got Talent tonight. He was the "puppet guy" that grew on me towards the end of the competition. He was great, and he deserved it but I felt so awful for Cas Haley.Â
Terry Fator won
Cas Haley got 2nd, which equals 0
Butterscotch came in 3rd and was a little tearful leaving the stage
Julienne Irwin was eliminated first, rightly so. She cried a little bit too but kept it classy.
The most irritating thing about tonight's show is how they dragged the whole thing out. They brought back acts that had been eliminated with a "Top 10" number and then a number with people who had auditioned and not made it through. The saxaphone guy was in that group.
David Hasselhoff performed. I was waiting for Piers to X him but to be honest, I left the room during that part of the show so I don't know much about what happened there. I can't stomach the Hoff singing.
After several really long commercial breaks, finally right at the end they announced that Terry Fator had won. I think I heard Cas' heart break.. and mine did too a little bit. I just hope that this is not the last we hear from Cas Haley.
Now the show is over.. back to crazy and bizarre news now!
There is good news and there is bad news
The good news is…Someone in my hometown is a Powerball winner!
The bad news is… it wasn't me.
The winner hasn't come forward to claim the prize yet. I hope they still have the winning ticket to get all that money. Their ticket matched all but 1 number and was worth $200,000 BUT they power played it, paid an extra $1 for the ticket so it's now worth 5 times more. Lucky, lucky!
I guess if I wanted to win, I would have had to have bought a ticket. I don't usually get a ticket and probably won't start now. Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, does it?
What U Saiz?
Do You Wish You Had These Options?
