Britney Spears On VMA

Ok, the MTV VMA (Video Music Awards – for those who live under a rock) show is on now.  I just watched the painful first 8 minutes, and I'm here to give you the rundown.  I would say highlights, but sadly there aren't any.

Of course, Britney Spears opened the show, as was widely anticipated.  She was wearing a body stocking up to her bra.. and I feel a little bad saying this but she looked chunky and had a very visible double chin.  She's way too heavy to be parading around in a bra and boy shorts, no matter how sparkly they are.

This was supposed to be her comeback performance and that is very sad for her.

She looked scared to death, lip-synched badly, was the worst dancer on the stage and was stiff, stiff, STIFF.  I'm sorry, but groping and being groped doesn't count as talent.  There were some marginally talented dancers on the stage, but Britney Spears wasn't one of them.  It was a trainwreck, but we've come to expect that from Britney.

What was all this about Criss Angel?  I had high hopes that at some point she was going to vanish off stage, or that there was going to be some kind of magical illusion.  I thought they said that's why she was spending the night with him all those times <naive me>.  There was nothing remotely magical about this performance.

Ok, so after Brit almost fell exiting the stage, Sarah Silverman came on and embarrassed herself almost as much as Britney.  She opened with Britney jokes.. calling Brit's kids "the cutest mistakes", and then it went downhill from there.  I don't want to get into the mechanics of the birth of Britney's kids here, but they did not come from her hairless vagina.

It was so embarrassing when they panned the audience during Britney's awful performance and no one was even interested and then during Silverman's set when no one was really laughing, just tight smiles and reserved chuckles here and there.  Silverman apologized, well kind of apologized, to Paris Hilton, who was in the audience and the silence was more than a little uncomfortable.

So after Silverman's very un-funny set she exited the stage and I left the room.  I hope the show got better from there.  Maybe after watching two careers end during the first 8 minutes they brought on some talent.  I don't know.  Maybe I'll watch the rest later if I hear that something good happened.