Off The Wagon at Wal-Mart
In a Wisconsin Wal-Mart Supercenter, the lure of the spiked lemonade was just too much to handle for one man. Sadly, the man was a recovering alcoholic until he took the seven bottles of Jack Daniel's Lynchburg Lemonade off the shelf and drank them in the store.
The man was in the store with his wife, who was apparently shopping in another part of the store while the man was drinking and had no idea what he was up to. He had been sober for 16 months before this incident.
Police say that the man drank the seven 12-ounce bottles over a 15-minute period and was seen on the security cameras putting the empty bottles back on the shelf.
Everyone can slide every once in a while, let's hope he gets right back on track with his sober lifestyle!
Full Speed Ahead
Bin Laden Releases New Photo and Statement
Osama Bin Laden has released a new audio tape that you probably already heard about, but he also sent a photo along too that not many people have seen yet, along with a personal message.
Here it is:
Apparently Osama wants Ellen and Ruby to know that Mutts and Moms have placed Iggy with him and that they are getting along very well. Osama doesn't have cats and is happy to have a companion in the cave.
Poor Little Kitty.. So Ugly..
To My Friends From Africa…
So, lately I've had a lot of bizarre stories that came from Africa.. and it's caused me to do some thinking. (I know, I'm in dangerous territory there, thinking and all..)
While the guy with the beer bottle in his bum, all the way up by his stomach and the woman who was accused of stealing a man's genitals both came from Africa, there are also a lot of nice things that come from Africa as well. Actually, Africa is a place I have always wanted to visit.
My friend Brigette and her husband.. I can't spell his name, but love to say it.. are from Ghana. They are two of the nicest people you'd ever like to meet. So, what I'm saying here is really, just because there is some crazyyyyyy stuff coming out of Africa, it doesn't mean that anything from the whole continent is going to be bizarre. Brigette and her extremely tall, born on Wednesday, husband are competely normal, trust me… probably more normal than most people you would meet. 
So here's a shout out to Brigette and her husband, my African friends! I hope they still read my blog and aren't offended by the recent out of Arfica news posted here! I miss you guys and hope to see you both soon.
Stop Hunger, Give Free Rice
This is fun and free and for a great cause.
No one, and I mean no one, should have to go hungry. This is an online game that will help you improve yoru vocabulary. My mom, sister and I just sat here and played together until we had donated 300 grains of rice. We like word games, it was togetherness and we got to help someone get something to eat. We all win!
So go here: http://www.freerice.com/
You can play the game and help yourself while you help someone get a bite to eat today. I can already tell that this game is addictive and we'll be back.
Man Offers Cash For Lap Dance – To 11 Year Old Girl!
A man from Ft. Pierce, Florida was arrested after he allegedly approached a little girl at a bus stop and offered to pay her to give him a lap dance. Horacio Benitez was arrested and charged with solicitation to commit lewd molestation and attempted child abuse.
The police report says that Benitez admitted that he showed the girl a handful of cash and and asked her for a lap dance while she was waiting for her school bus. The little girl, who is 11, told police that she didn't know what a lap dance was and had no idea what he meant.
After his arrest, Benitez reportedly told police that he has fantasies about having sex with young children, but has never acted on those fantasies. Giid enough for me – LOCK HIM UP and throw away the key BEFORE he gets a chance to try to act on his sick impulses again.
The little girl told police that the day before this incident that she had seen Benitez and he had tried to get her into his truck. Police say that Benitez has allegedly also approached other children.
Benitez is being held on $225,000 bond at St. Lucie County jail. And let's hope he stays behind bars.
A Conspiracy
Everyone Knows Some Ahole With A Drinking Problem, But This Is Ridiculous
Here's another story so bizarre I know you're going to think I'm making it up, but it really is Absolutely True .
In Central Kenya (I know, a lot of this stuff is coming out of Africa these days) doctors have extracted a pint beer bottle from a man's colon. The bottle was empty. They say it took two operations to remove the beer bottle, and they don't know how it got lodged in the man's colon.
The man told doctors that he had pushed the bottle into his rectum by himself, but the doctors say they think that is nearly impossible. I guess they don't think that he could have sat on it and pushed it in because the news report talks about him using half his arm to get it up there, which would have been physically impossible for nearly all people who aren't contortionists.
The doctors say they believe that the man may have been assaulted by someone, but that he is too humiliated to admit it.
The good news is that there was no damage to the man's internal organs and now that the bottle has been removed, he will be fine.
A Great Prank
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