10 Ways To Avoid The Hangover!
'Tis the season. You know, the season for drinking too much and paying the hefty price for it the next morning. I don't mean waking up in a strange bed with someone after the beer goggles are gone, I am talking about the hangover that will have your skull in a vice and make you want to hit your toe with a hammer just to try to even out the pain.
But there is some good news. According to the National Headache Foundation and howstuffworks.com there are things you can do to avoid feeling like an awe got stuck between your eyes the night before.
1. It will apparently help to plan ahead a little bit and have a big greasy cheeseburger, donut or hotdog dripping with chili before you start doing the Jaeger shots. Foods that are high in fat will form a slimy lard coating on your intestines and will inhibit, or at least slow down the alcohol absorption process. So you'll get stupid a little slower.
2. A spoonful of honey makes the medicine go down, and also gives your body some fructose to help metabolize the alcohol you'll be chugging. It's also a good source of vitamin B6 and cellulite for your thighs. So if you have some honey on a cracker or toast either before or after the party, it might help you avoid wanting to kill yourself in the morning. If you'd rather not fatten up your thighs, have some tomato juice instead. It also has fructose, but possibly not quite as many calories as the honey.
3. The experts say to pace yourself and sip slowly on that Buttery Nipple and have a non-alcoholic drink in-between the liquor. Who are we kidding here? You're not going to do this, so skip to #4.
4. Try to order the mixed drinks that have fruit or vegetable juices in them. Have a Bloody Mary and get your tomato juice and liquor all at once!
5. Not that you'll listen to this either, but they say to skip the red wine and dark liquors like bourbon and tequila. The reasoning behind this is that the red wine and dark liquors have a higher percentage of congeners, which are a nasty little byproduct of the fermentation process that causes your head to throb. But, since I know you're going to eat the worm anyway, so let's move on.
6. According to the hangover prevention unit, having a cup of broth or a sports drink after drinking can help out. I know you probably don't carry a bouillon cube around with you, so just pick up some kind of sports drink when you stop at the 7-11. Sports drinks have the minerals and salts in them to counter the dehydration you'll have from drinking like a clown and sweating like you've gone 9 rounds with Lennox Lewis.
7. It's true. Have some caffeine when you wake up, it will help shrink down the blood vessels in your head that you decided to blow up and make balloon animals with at the party. You clown. Had to be
the life of the party, didn't you?
8. It's also helpful if you suck down some eggs and bananas when you wake up. Waffle House isn't that far, you can crawl down there and order something scrambled.
9. It's not true. The hair of the dog that bit you is not going to do anything except give you a hairball. Do not wake up and start drinking again unless you really can't deal with yourself and are just going to attempt to stay drunk. In that case, you and your friend Lindsay Lohan can just crack the seal on a new bottle of liquor as soon as you wake up and no one is going to say a word about it. However, if you'd like to help yourself back to the path of being a productive citizen, don't reach for another drink – at least until your body has a chance to purge all the toxins you put in it the night before.
10. Be the designated driver. Stay sober, get your friends home safely and you won't have to worry about any of this stuff because you won't have a nasty hangover to deal with.
Drink Responsibly folks ~ I want to see you around here after the party so I can make fun of you for being such an ass clown while you were wasted.