Fresh Cut… Flowers?

I have a lot of questions…

I wonder if they come in different colors?

I wonder about the fragrance?

I wonder if it would help to put those preservative packets in the water?

I wonder if they bloom?

I wonder whether they would look better on the kitchen table or in the entry?

I wonder if they're cheaper by the dozen?

I wonder if they come long-stemmed?

Captured at 115th and Allisonville Rd. in Fishers (Indianapolis). The sign is real and was up for two hours before someone stopped and told them how to spell…….

PEONIES

Out of the Mouthes of Babes….

So Pop-Pop needed a new mouse the other day and was disappointed (to put it mildly) that he had to wait for Wendy to go get gas and drive home to get one while he was left writing out orders by hand.  We drove over to give him the new mouse and Wendy taught Walter a new phrase on the way there.

When we drove up, Pop was waiting in the parking lot and pissed off.  This video was cut short after Walter said the phrase because we were not too sure what Pop was going to tell us… and we were scared and had to get the hell out of there fast.

It Is Almost Beach Time!

If you're a little bit shy about your body, here's how to buff it up quickly without any exercise -- just in time for the pool or the beach.  You'll fool everyone into thinking you worked out all winter!

Mom Is Worth $117,000 A Year

This year a study says that the stay-at-home mom, or family CEO, is worth $117,000 a year – if she got a paycheck. I'm saying.. is that all?

I mean.. mom does everything from wiping butts, grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning up and endless supply of hand crafted messes to listening to whining, kissing boo-boos and feeding everybody when they complain that they're hungry. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I don't think $117,000 begins to cover the 24/7 service (that sometimes feels like 25/8) that mom provides.

So be good to mom and be happy that she doesn't expect a paycheck and is happy with the love and respect that you give her. Umm… you are showing her at least that – aren't you? If not – hop to it.

Happy Mother's Day to all the under-paid and under-appreciated moms out there. It's your day, enjoy it!

Here's a special Mother's Day t-shirt I made today:  http://www.cafepress.com/trueshopping 

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Work Out With The Stud Muffin

I honestly just don't know what to say about this…

I found this gem over at Regretful Morning

Oh.. I See What the Problem Is…

A man in California stopped to put some power steering fluid in his truck and got a bit of a shock when he popped the hood. There was a pit bull – yes – a large dog – stuck in his engine compartment.

The dog had chewed his way through the fuel line, wires and hoses in an attempt to get out. No telling how the truck was still running! He growled at the man when he opened the hood and the man called the cops. Can you even imagine that call?

Somehow the dog was safely removed from the truck so that it could be repaired.

Another Day, Another Filthy Pig

I know people who aren't cops do stupid, ridiculous, disgusting things all the time too, but I just like telling you about it so much more when it's a cop.

A former cop in Moorestown, New Jersey and his ex-girlfriend were arrested after being accused of sexually assaulting three underage girls.  Robert Melia and Heather Lewis were each charged with three counts of first degree aggravated sexual assault and one count of second degree sexual assault.

Later, more charges were filed against Melia.  He's now accused of also performing sexual acts with cows.  He now also faces four charges of animal cruelty after purposely and knowingly tormenting an animal.  Investigators say that Melia had the cow perform fellatio on him.

The investigation is ongoing.

It Is Gonna Get Freaky Around Here

Ok, so I'm using a very old and outdated version of my blogging software. I've been putting off updating but I'm really missing out on a lot of neat new features by not biting the bullet and just doing it. So I've pretty much decided that soon.. hopefully.. I'll upgrade. The thing is, after the upgrade, Absolutely True will look very different because this template isn't available for the new version of the software. So, since I'm not familiar with the new platform, at first I'll have to just go with a stock template or "skin."

It's sad because I actually like this template and color scheme a lot and I usually am pretty set in my ways and don't like change. It will be like turning off gravity for a little while until I get settled in. Let's hope it happens quickly and I will have time to work with the template to create something I actually like. Right now there aren't too many nice templates to choose from and none quite like this one.

So, in the next week or so, if you stop by and see some pretty freaky things, rest assured that I'm freaking out too… because I will be. I'm nervous just talking about it but I guess it's something that has to be done. Wish me luck!

Scuba Diving Anyone?

Family on vacation in Australia for a week and a half when husband, wife and their 15 year old son decided to go scuba diving. The husband is in the navy and has had some scuba experience. His son wanted a picture of his mum and dad in all their gear so he got the under water camera ready to go. When it came to taking the picture the dad realized that the son looked like he was panicking as he took it and gave the 'OK' hand sign to see if he was all right.

The son took the picture and swam to the surface and back to the boat as quick as he could so the mum and dad followed to see if he was OK. When they got back to him he was scrambling onto the boat and absolutely panicking. When the parents   asked why, he said 'there was a shark behind you.' The dad thought he was joking but the skipper of the boat said it was true but they wouldn't believe him. As soon as they got back to the hotel they loaded the picture onto the laptop and this is what they saw.

 

(Try and tell me you wouldn't have emptied your entire digestive system right at the point you saw it) Would you have stayed to take the picture??
 
 
Maybe what saved their ass was that the shark wasn't hungry, they were in the water not on the surface, and there was no fear coming from them – only because they were not aware. Probably better that the kid didn't point for them to look behind them.

Why Does This Guy Hate His Parents SO Much?

I really want to know. What did Mike’s parents do to make him hate them so much?

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