This is a follow-up. Steve dropped by to let me know the BBC story wasn’t completely accurate, and this video is a bit closer to what really happened.
Here’s an absurd little story from our friends across the pond.
BBC News reported that a man chose the password “Lloyds is pants” as his banking password. Apparently that’s some kind of British insult. Americans, don’t even try to figure out what it is supposed to mean. They are twisted over there.
Anyway, the bank changed his password for him. He found out later that it had been changed to “no it’s not.”
The man was apparently irritated with Lloyds TSB over some type of free travel insurance product offered with his account. The password change didn’t do much to soothe him.
He then changed his password to “Barclays is better” and was banned from using the telephone system by a bank employee.
The bank later apologized for the password change and told the guy that the employee who changed his password no longer worked there. However, they told him that his password had to six characters or less.
He is reportedly still trying to come up with a password. I have a few suggestions that he might try:
- He could just go with “pants” – since it seems to be such a clever insult.
- Or he could go with “bullsh” – while that’s not actually a word, it might still be used to express his sentiments.
- Maybe “eatme” would also be something for him to consider. It’s five characters, but they just said it had to be six or under, so it should work.
- “Suckit” is precisely six characters.
There are plenty of six character options and I’m sure he’ll come up with something soon.
In Bonita Springs, Florida, a man was recently arrested for soliciting a prostitute. That’s not unusual, I guess.
The prostitute that he picked up was an undercover cop. Again, not that unusual.
The thing that sets Fausino Diaz Hernandez apart is that he offered to pay 2 cents for sex. 2 pennies. You’d have to wonder what he was expecting to get.
Anyway, even Hernandez realized at some point that 2 cents wasn’t enough, so reportedly also offered the woman cigarette lighters and a bike in exchange for some sexual favors. FAIL.
He was, of course, taken to jail.
Sorry, but you’ve just been Barack Rolled.
In Madison, Wisconsin, thieves knocked down a fence and broke into a home through a window to steal a 300 pound safe.
The valuables stored inside the safe? It was grandma!
The ashes of Silvia Postell were inside the safe. Her husband Roy and other family members desperately want them back.
Roy had planned to have his ashes mixed with Silvia’s when he passes away and is offering a $1,000 reward in hopes of getting them back.
The robbery took place in broad daylight, yet no witnesses have come forward.
Come on people… Someone had to have seen something.
Some good ‘ole boys in Georgia have announced that they have a Bigfoot corpse in a freezer.
I guess their story might have been more believable had it not changed three times so far.
First they said that they animal was shot by a “former felon” and they followed it into the woods, where it apparently died.
Then the story changed a bit when they said that they found a whole Bigfoot family in the mountains of North Georgia.
The third story is that they were hiking and came across the Bigfoot corpse, and of course scooped it up and put it in a deep freeze.
The pictures of the supposed Bigfoot corpse, all hairy and frozen, are on the bigfoottracker.com website. They say it is 7 foot, 7 inches, 550 pounds and has 16 inch human-like feet. Oh, and it has reddish hair. Kinda reads like an internet dating profile, huh?
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Reserve is not taking the Bigfoot claim seriously. After all, Bigfoot is not an endangered species.
Another reason they may not be taking it all that seriously is that the thing looks like a Halloween costume jammed into a cooler with some animal innards strewn on top of it.
The Georgia boys say it is real though, and they have had the Bigfoot DNA tested to prove their claim. I guess we’ll see what happens. Maybe there is a Bigfoot inside that ape costume.
UPDATE: The DNA results are in. There were two samples submitted for testing. One was human, the other came from an opossum.
In Beaverton, Oregon, a woman who may have been an identity thief was caught doing the strangest thing.
Here’s what went down:
Some unknown woman snuck into a nursing home and spent at least three evenings visiting with a resident there. She convinced the woman and everyone else that she was the woman’s granddaughter.
So the woman who was the nursing home resident told her son about her new visitor/granddaughter. The son then decided to hang out at the nursing home to try to find out who the mystery visitor was.
Are you following this? It is so weird that it is hard to explain.
Sure enough, the mystery woman showed up while he was there and was wearing scrubs. She walked into the room and said “Hi Grandma!”
The son asked her who she was and she explained that she worked at the nursing home and was there to give “Grandma” a massage. When she was asked where her nametag was she said she didn’t have one and bolted.
Nothing seems to have been stolen from the nursing home and no one knows who the woman was or what she was doing there. Police have a theory that she may have been attempting to steal the nursing home resident’s identity.
The mystery nursing home visitor was caught on a surveillance camera and police hope to find and speak with her.
One of the original Kings of Comedy, Bernie Mac, passed away yesterday in Chicago. He was coarse, used very rough language and was brutally honest in his routines. He was funny as hell though and will be missed. RIP Bernie Mac.
At a Brooklyn amusement park there is a strange new attraction… the waterboarding exhibit.
At first I thought this news story was saying that people at the park get tortured just for fun, but it’s robotic dolls that are in on the waterboarding action. Guests of the park just pay to watch.
The display is actually an art installation built to criticize waterboarding torture.
This is so perfect, why didn’t I think of it? I saw this video at Cows Gone Mad and thought it was hysterical:
I just want to know when a cheeseburger IV will be available.