My Twenty Year Daughter
We get asked a lot of things. Little things, big things, funny things, stupid things and some utterly fucking retarded things. Here’s where Babby enjoys herself most, because she has the opportunity to help others in a meaningful way.
Dear Babby,

Hey Crystal,
Thanks for asking Babby. I understand your concerns and have given your situation a lot of thought.
I think I need to break it down here, because you’ve given me a lot of information to process. Here is my impression of your most unfortunate situation:
There’s good news and bad news.
First the bad news: Your daughter seems to have the inability to keep a job. From your message, I get that you’re pretty sure she’s not stealing money. However, have you considered that she may be a crack whore who isn’t good at that job either? If she’s not stealing the money for her pimp, perhaps she’s moderately retarded or just lazy and that’s why the drawer is constantly coming up short.
Now for the good news: She is 20 years old. It’s not your problem anymore.
More bad news: I never published your comment, so your website address and the Google ad you embedded in it won’t be seen by anyone.
A little more good news: Since she’s workering with these managers a lot, she probably won’t have to take your advice and quit. Your current problem will be solved pretty soon and will be replaced by the problem of an unemployable adult child-leech.
You asked what I would do if this were my daughter. Quite honestly, I’d just kill myself in the most painful way possible, right away.
That job do seem to suspicious to me too. Even more suspicious is that a mother would rather see her daughter scrub toilets or pick up cigarette butts than learn how to correctly run a cash register. It’s also just a tad amusing that you would attempt to post this ridiculous garbage on the Internet.
You asked for my opinion; I hope I have fulfilled your every desire.
Good luck,
<3 Babby
Got a question for Babby? Just leave a comment anywhere on this blog and she’ll try to help.



