The Greatest Gift…
I saw this Hallmark publication over at Rotating Corpse. They seemed to have a sarcastic attitude about the book, but I think it’s just too much awesome goodness not to be shared. I am sad that it’s out of print. I would completely love it if my boyfriend gave me this book “just because.”
Go read it, then just try to say it’s not special. You’ll see.
Open Letter to the Burger King Girl
Dear Laminta,
When you take someone’s order at the drive through while you’re laughing and text messaging, chances are you can make some errors. When you read back the order and are corrected on every single item there’s no need to get nasty about it.
I ordered my burger with no pickles. I didn’t order extra saliva. As a matter of fact, you can hold the saliva all together. And if my milkshake is going to be half a cup of warm milk with cookies crumbled in it, I guess you can keep that too.
When you are handing the bag out the window, you really should make sure you have a good grip on it. Don’t just hold the edge and hope the bag doesn’t rip to shreds. I wonder how much food gets dumped out right there at the window because you don’t know how to handle a bag full of food. It’s odd really, because it is your job to handle bags full of food.
When the food does drop to the ground and spill out everywhere, please don’t ask me to open my car door to try to pick it up. I’m not going to do it and it’s just going to make you angry when I roll my eyes. Also don’t turn around and tell everyone you work with that I dropped the food. You know that *I* didn’t drop a mf-ing thing. Anyone can make a mistake, but blaming it on me is only going to make me angry.
Thanks for the new bag of food though. I really appreciate you acting as though it was charity. It’s great that at BK I can have it my way, all wrapped up and in a bag and stuff.
There’s no need for attitude when I ask if straws are in the bag. It’s a relevant question since I did order 4 drinks. If you tell me they are in the bag, could you please make sure that they are before I take the bag and check? It just irritates me when you lie. And it irritates you even more when I sit there and refuse to move until you give me straws.
Also, when you ask me if the kid’s meal is for a boy or a girl, and I say boy, please don’t make the mistake of putting a doll in the bag for him. Walter doesn’t really like dolls, he would prefer a car or one of the Transformers or a Simpson’s toy if you have it. I really wish you wouldn’t screw this up every time. It makes us really unhappy when we get home and realize Polly Pocket hitched a ride with us.
I think if you can take my suggestions we can have a much better time on my next visit. Assuming there is a next time.
Sincerely,
Gerri
Dell Lies Exposed
You may have noticed over the last few months my posts have been infrequent. Hopefully that will change soon.
To be perfectly honest, after my server error wiped out my blog a few months ago, I’ve had a hard time getting here to post. Part of it is just that I hate the blog template and the blog software that I use has very few to choose from. I haven’t taken the time to learn the language necessary to craft my own, so I’m stuck on ugly.
Another big thing, which happens to be the point of this post, is that I had to go 9 rounds with Dell support recently. I’m going to link you to my rant, rather than explaining it all here, but if you read it, you’ll understand why I’ve been struggling.
Here’s the summary: Dell sucks.
Expanded summary: Even if your Dell computer is under warranty, tech support will tell outrageous lies about what is wrong with the Dell POS, blame the problem on you and attempt to extort money from you for repairs that the Dell computer does not even need.
Sour Man
Tonight I went to eat at Cracker Barrel with my family. When we arrived at the restaurant I had a mini-altercation with a very sour man in the parking lot.
As I was looking for a parking spot, I found one that was actually two spots that if I had wanted to, I could have driven through so that when I left my car would have been pointing the right way and i could have left without using reverse. However, since my car has reverse I didn’t really intend to do that.
However, a sour man in the parking lot apparently had that idea in mind for the two parking spots and was coming around the other way. So when I pulled in on the opposite side, I completely ruined his evening. He gave me the “I hope you burn in Hell” look and threw his car into reverse and went to park somewhere else.
So of course, when we were seated in the restaurant it was near him and he mouthed “learn how to drive” at me. I laughed at him. Why do people want to let something so minor ruin their entire evening? After all, there were TWO parking spots there. I didn’t steal a spot from him. Oh well.
So it reminded me of one of my favorite commercials. I’ve probably posted this one before, but it’s just so great here it is again. It’s the Skittles Sour Man. Enjoy!
Beware of the Bears
This spring and summer I have really gotten back into gardening. I have pots of plants everywhere, compost “cooking” and a big pile of mulch outside.
One of the dangers of gardening, for me anyway, is the chance that I could encounter a snake. I already injured myself once this year while running from a snake that I “found” in the mulch pile. That’s really the reason that the mulch pile is still there.. where it will stay.. and decompose. I won’t touch it.
Anyway, I’ve been told that if you stomp around and make noise, the snakes will hear you and leave the area. I always carry a shovel and bang it on the ground as I walk around the yard now and my friend Tiffany said “Oh, like bear bells?”
So I got this photo in an e-mail from Amy today and it reminded me of that whole conversation with Tiffany about the snake, my insane fear of snakes and “bear bells.”
Out of the Mouthes of Babes….
So Pop-Pop needed a new mouse the other day and was disappointed (to put it mildly) that he had to wait for Wendy to go get gas and drive home to get one while he was left writing out orders by hand. We drove over to give him the new mouse and Wendy taught Walter a new phrase on the way there.
When we drove up, Pop was waiting in the parking lot and pissed off. This video was cut short after Walter said the phrase because we were not too sure what Pop was going to tell us… and we were scared and had to get the hell out of there fast.
It Is Gonna Get Freaky Around Here
Ok, so I'm using a very old and outdated version of my blogging software. I've been putting off updating but I'm really missing out on a lot of neat new features by not biting the bullet and just doing it. So I've pretty much decided that soon.. hopefully.. I'll upgrade. The thing is, after the upgrade, Absolutely True will look very different because this template isn't available for the new version of the software. So, since I'm not familiar with the new platform, at first I'll have to just go with a stock template or "skin."
It's sad because I actually like this template and color scheme a lot and I usually am pretty set in my ways and don't like change. It will be like turning off gravity for a little while until I get settled in. Let's hope it happens quickly and I will have time to work with the template to create something I actually like. Right now there aren't too many nice templates to choose from and none quite like this one.
So, in the next week or so, if you stop by and see some pretty freaky things, rest assured that I'm freaking out too… because I will be. I'm nervous just talking about it but I guess it's something that has to be done. Wish me luck!
I Have Not Abandoned You
You may have noticed a distinct lack of wierd and bizarre news updates in the last few days. Sorry about that..
I have not abandoned Absolutely True though, I've simply been plagued with hardware, software and health difficulties. The nuttiness should resume shortly.
Thanks for hanging in there!Â
Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!
Ok, so there is not actually a chicken dinner. However, we do have a winner in the Pet Food Challenge!
Everyone who donated pet food got one entry, and those who also blogged about it got two entries. Since the small child who was supposed to choose the winner is at grandma's house, I ran the list through Random.org and the winner is….
Casto Creations – Elegant Handcrafted Jewelry Designs
Thanks to everyone who participated in this!
Brian Howard of The Daily Green donated his weight in food.
Lady Bee of Lady Bee's Pet Blog donated and blogged and basically did everything and anything she could to help me get the word out!
Tammy from Mom Knows Everything also donated and helped raise awareness about how desperate the need is at pet shelters everywhere.
Robin of Seriesse, A Skin Care and Wellness Opportunity donated and blogged about the contest.
complicious also indicated that they were going to try to help too.
And last but definitely not least, Lady Rose of The Diet Pulpit and Entrecard Favorites donated and also went out of her way to help me get the word out about this issue.
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
I will contact Casto Creations to get her banner and it will run for a month. I'm also going to send her 1,000 Entrecard credits.
Anyone who has an Entrecard account and entered but didn't win – I'm going to send you some Entrecard credits as well as a token of my thanks.
Choosing A Winner..
We will be picking a winner shortly for the Free Advertising Pet Food Challenge I issued in March. Thanks to everyone who participated – you're all winners as far as I'm concerned.
I hope everyone will continue to support their local animal shelters. As soon as I can come up with an idea for a new challenge, we'll do it all again!
