Absolutely True » Funny Stories & Jokes http://absolutelytrue.com OMG!!! WTF!!! LOL!!! STFU!!! Sun, 12 Feb 2012 01:14:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Truth. http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/08/truth/ http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/08/truth/#comments Sun, 02 Aug 2009 16:02:33 +0000 Gerri http://www.absolutelytrue.com/?p=1520 truth

‘Nuff said.

]]> http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/08/truth/feed/ 2 The Greatest Gift… http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/07/the-greatest-gift/ http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/07/the-greatest-gift/#comments Fri, 17 Jul 2009 19:55:06 +0000 Gerri http://www.absolutelytrue.com/?p=1510 I saw this Hallmark publication over at Rotating Corpse. They seemed to have a sarcastic attitude about the book, but I think it’s just too much awesome goodness not to be shared. I am sad that it’s out of print. I would completely love it if my boyfriend gave me this book “just because.”

book

Go read it, then just try to say it’s not special. You’ll see.

]]> http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/07/the-greatest-gift/feed/ 2 Coed Swimming Causes Pregnancy http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/07/coed-swimming-pregnancy/ http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/07/coed-swimming-pregnancy/#comments Sun, 12 Jul 2009 01:45:31 +0000 Gerri http://www.absolutelytrue.com/?p=1500 Yes, really. At least according to a Polish mom and her now-pregnant daughter.

cat-in-pool
(image via: foundshit)

The mom is suing an Egyptian hotel, claiming that her 13-year-old daughter became pregnant from swimming in its coed pool while on vacation. The lawsuit insists that the girl didn’t meet any boys while on vacation and that sperm in the pool entered the girl’s vagina, resulting in her pregnancy.

I recommend the mom and her daughter do a little research on the human reproductive system and specifically, how pregnancy happens. There is a short flash film that comes to mind that may help:

]]> http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/07/coed-swimming-pregnancy/feed/ 14 Stop Hiding, Start Living http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/05/stop-hiding-start-living/ http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/05/stop-hiding-start-living/#comments Sun, 03 May 2009 01:57:08 +0000 Gerri http://www.absolutelytrue.com/?p=1333

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAF3LKxqs_g

]]> http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/05/stop-hiding-start-living/feed/ 0 I Can't Find My Digg Toolbar http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/03/i-cant-find-my-digg-toolbar/ http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/03/i-cant-find-my-digg-toolbar/#comments Sat, 21 Mar 2009 13:24:29 +0000 Gerri http://www.absolutelytrue.com/blog/?p=1180 Anyone know where I can download the Digg toolbar? I seem to have lost mine.

toolbars

]]> http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/03/i-cant-find-my-digg-toolbar/feed/ 4 My New Favorite Song http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/02/my-new-favorite-song/ http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/02/my-new-favorite-song/#comments Sat, 07 Feb 2009 18:22:40 +0000 Gerri http://absolutelytrue.com.s67143.gridserver.com/?p=1146 Okay, so by now you’ve all heard the Christian Bale on-set freakout recording. I’ll agree it was a nasty rant, but when you think about it, it’s not all that shocking.

I mean, who among us would not have something similar to this caught on tape or audio if cameras were on us all the time? I’ve readily admitted that I lost it and kicked a pizza at someone before. Really, who hasn’t?

So, before we condemn Christian Bale as an egomaniac asshole, let’s just remember that we’re not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. That being said, the Christian Bale “Bale Out Remix” has instantly become my new favorite song. I’m glad that some of my worst moments have not been recorded, but if they had, I would hope they could be made into such a catchy remix.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTihsJQHt48

]]> http://absolutelytrue.com/2009/02/my-new-favorite-song/feed/ 9 Happy New Year! http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/12/happy-new-year/ http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/12/happy-new-year/#comments Thu, 01 Jan 2009 01:51:26 +0000 Gerri http://absolutelytrue.com.s67143.gridserver.com/?p=1142 To ring in 2009, I bring you the secret mating habits of the shrew in HD. The good stuff starts after 1:15, so hang in there, it’s worth it.

Happy New Year! :D

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTTc3SXZFOg

]]> http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/12/happy-new-year/feed/ 2 Merry Christmas! http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/12/merry-christmas-2/ http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/12/merry-christmas-2/#comments Thu, 25 Dec 2008 00:31:22 +0000 Gerri http://absolutelytrue.com.s67143.gridserver.com/?p=1139 Hope you are all having a wonderful holiday season! Here’s a Christmas video that I hope you’ll enjoy.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNk5jfmaDoI

]]> http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/12/merry-christmas-2/feed/ 3 Fatherhood http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/12/fatherhood/ http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/12/fatherhood/#comments Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:35:01 +0000 Gerri http://absolutelytrue.com.s67143.gridserver.com/?p=1138 My new favorite commercial:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9A2Ap3DyvLg

]]> http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/12/fatherhood/feed/ 4 Ever Bought a Used Car? http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/11/ever-bought-a-used-car/ http://absolutelytrue.com/2008/11/ever-bought-a-used-car/#comments Sat, 08 Nov 2008 03:24:11 +0000 Gerri http://absolutelytrue.com.s67143.gridserver.com/?p=1135 I bought new this time, but I could swear my Kia came from these people.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3EVajeiGCs

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