Proof That Animals Love Music
I have found proof that our animal cousins should be writing music reviews. The following videos show just how much they love music, from playing instruments, singing along to Gwen Stefani, and showing off their Michael Jackson moves.
Nora the piano playing cat
Dog that plays keyboard and sings
Walrus that dances to Michael Jackson
Beatboxing bird
Cockatoo that plays guitar
Parrot who loves ‘death metal’
Parrot that sings Opera
Piano playing horse
Rapping fish
Dancing horse
Tap dancing cow (advert)
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Monkey loves his guitar
Husky sings along to Gwen Stefani
Baby elephant dances and plays harmonica
Animal music news supplied by Claire Stokoe
People who bought Jon and Kate Plus Ei8ht also bought…
Makes perfect sense to me. I’ve never seen Jon and Kate Plus Ei8ht and never ever want to. After seeing these idiots all over every show on television fighting their ridiculous battle, I’ve seen quite enough.
Please Do Not Laugh…
Please do not laugh at my pants. They are not funny.
Man Convicted of Trampoline Love
James Burden stunned his downstairs neighbor by having a little fun on his trampoline. The woman said she looked out her window and saw him jumping naked, with a cigarette in one hand and his erection in the other.
Burden says he was just having fun and didn’t intend for anyone to see him. He pled guilty to publicly exposing his person in a shameless and indecent manner, and approaching his neighbor’s house and placing her in a state of fear and alarm.
Sentencing has been deferred until next month.
PSA: Things Are Often Not What They Seem
There are a lot of fucking creeps, trolls and users out there, so it’s just good to keep that in mind before making any Internet friends.
11 People Who Don’t Give a Fuck
Sometimes you just don’t. I have to admit, my meter seems to be broken at the moment with the needle stuck to the left. Not giving a fuck goes a little beyond not giving a shit anymore, it’s flat out apathy. And it’s a good thing. Here are 11 people — besides me — who just don’t give a fuck.
Gary Coleman Doesn’t Give a Fuck
RIP Gary. I’m sorry for laughing at the jokes… already.
Eminem Still Doesn’t Give a Fuck
I can totally relate, Em.
Walrus Man Doesn’t Give a Fuck
He’s a real man and not afraid of shrinkage.
Cats Don’t Give a Fuck
Never have, never will. And just try telling them they’re not people and that they don’t belong on this list.
The Girl with this Tattoo Doesn’t Give a Fuck
Someday, I think you might. There are removal options when that time comes.
Mr. Toda Doesn’t Give a Fuck
I fuck not give, Sucka.
Don Rickles Does Not Give a Fuck
And why should he? He’d have your ass whipped by the time the cops got there.
This Guy Totally Doesn’t Give a Fuck
To the fucking extreme of not giving a fuck.
The Little Mermaid Doesn’t Give a Fuck
She just doesn’t, and that’s okay because she’s a little mermaid.
Tricycle Guy Doesn’t Give a Fuck
No need to fucking care. Looks like he’ll have a vehicle soon.
This Is How Much I Give a Fuck
This guy is my hero. I care. Honestly. Just let me finish my cigarette and I’m on it.
My Twenty Year Daughter
We get asked a lot of things. Little things, big things, funny things, stupid things and some utterly fucking retarded things. Here’s where Babby enjoys herself most, because she has the opportunity to help others in a meaningful way.
Dear Babby,
Hey Crystal,
Thanks for asking Babby. I understand your concerns and have given your situation a lot of thought.
I think I need to break it down here, because you’ve given me a lot of information to process. Here is my impression of your most unfortunate situation:
There’s good news and bad news.
First the bad news: Your daughter seems to have the inability to keep a job. From your message, I get that you’re pretty sure she’s not stealing money. However, have you considered that she may be a crack whore who isn’t good at that job either? If she’s not stealing the money for her pimp, perhaps she’s moderately retarded or just lazy and that’s why the drawer is constantly coming up short.
Now for the good news: She is 20 years old. It’s not your problem anymore.
More bad news: I never published your comment, so your website address and the Google ad you embedded in it won’t be seen by anyone.
A little more good news: Since she’s workering with these managers a lot, she probably won’t have to take your advice and quit. Your current problem will be solved pretty soon and will be replaced by the problem of an unemployable adult child-leech.
You asked what I would do if this were my daughter. Quite honestly, I’d just kill myself in the most painful way possible, right away.
That job do seem to suspicious to me too. Even more suspicious is that a mother would rather see her daughter scrub toilets or pick up cigarette butts than learn how to correctly run a cash register. It’s also just a tad amusing that you would attempt to post this ridiculous garbage on the Internet.
You asked for my opinion; I hope I have fulfilled your every desire.
Good luck,
<3 Babby
Got a question for Babby? Just leave a comment anywhere on this blog and she’ll try to help.
14 Bacons, 1 Sandwich, All Kinds of Awesome
So, the other day some guy decided to make me jealous by getting extra bacon x10 on his Subway turkey melt. He knows I love bacon – I mean, who doesn’t? He also knows that the turkey melt is my favorite sandwich. He had this delicious sandwich for lunch that day while I had cereal, my other favorite food. I couldn’t stop thinking about all that bacon though, so I talked to my sister about it. She happens to run a restaurant and decided to hook me up.
All day today I kept getting these images e-mailed to me from Wendy’s phone. She’s quite artistic and obviously has bacon on the brain like the rest of us.
Om nom nom nom… seriously, that’s all I can say about this picture.
And here we have the pig with a black olive eye, lovingly crafted from strips of delicious bacon. Wendy, I sure hope you didn’t try to feed me something a black olive touched. You know I hate those things.
When I saw this, I really couldn’t comprehend that much bacon going on one sandwich. I didn’t know if I might be hallucinating or having an extremely good dream or if she was cooking enough bacon for a small army. I just didn’t know. I hoped it wasn’t a cruel joke.
It wasn’t a joke. This was my dinner. I ate half and showed the loser the pictures while I gloated over my 14 bacons on one sandwich. It was truly a masterpiece. I mean, usually we don’t photograph food unless it’s one of the disaster cakes Wendy likes to make for special occasions. 14 bacons on one sandwich was a special occasion in and of itself and I’m glad there are pictures to document this wonderful experience.
I ate half and saved the other part. Then later, I finished the whole damn thing. Tomorrow might be rough, but it was worth every bite.
14 bacons takes the title in the Bacon Cup, as it breaks Jason’s lame record of only 10 extra bacons. Plus, to add insult to injury, I didn’t even have to pay for this – it was a gift from my sister. So, I’m throwing down the gauntlet, issuing a challenge. If you think you can beat 14 bacons, go ahead and try it. You have to eat the whole thing and there needs to be proof of a more magnificent sandwich than this, if it exists. I don’t believe it does. I’m pretty sure I’ll hold the title for quite a while.
The Greatest Gift…
I saw this Hallmark publication over at Rotating Corpse. They seemed to have a sarcastic attitude about the book, but I think it’s just too much awesome goodness not to be shared. I am sad that it’s out of print. I would completely love it if my boyfriend gave me this book “just because.”
Go read it, then just try to say it’s not special. You’ll see.
Coed Swimming Causes Pregnancy
Yes, really. At least according to a Polish mom and her now-pregnant daughter.
(image via: foundshit)
The mom is suing an Egyptian hotel, claiming that her 13-year-old daughter became pregnant from swimming in its coed pool while on vacation. The lawsuit insists that the girl didn’t meet any boys while on vacation and that sperm in the pool entered the girl’s vagina, resulting in her pregnancy.
I recommend the mom and her daughter do a little research on the human reproductive system and specifically, how pregnancy happens. There is a short flash film that comes to mind that may help:
