Well, Well, Well.. Look Who Is Out Of Jail

Paris Hilton escaped was released from jail early this morning. They say she served her 23 days.. ehh.. fuzzy math I say. But anyway, she’s out.

Paris is reportedly jubliant…and ready to cash in on the experience.  Larry King is interviewing her on Wednesday. Gee.. I hope he doesn’t ask any questions that are too hard.

Where do we place our wagers on how long it will take her to be up to the same ole’ nonsense again?

And I ask you, once again, is Nicole Richey pregnant or not?

Paris Hilton To Be Released From Jail On Tuesday

Paris Hilton is scheduled to be released from jail on Tuesday.  Then she will be free to cash in on the experience with interviews and books, and whatever else the celebutard desires.

So she went in, what was it, the 5th? She stayed a couple of days and then had the house arrest ordeal, then the twin towers hospital jail thing and then back to real jail to finish out her days.

So from the 5th to the 26th… I’m not good at math.. how many days is that? It’s not 45 and I really don’t see how it’s 23 either, but I could be wrong. Somehow days fly by faster and add up to more when you’re behind bars I think.

So the paps are all poised and ready to snap the hairy heiress as she exits the pokey on Tuesday. I’m still shocked that no one has gotten a pic of her behind bars yet. A photo of Paris in jail has got to be worth more than a jailers salary. So come on guys, TRY HARDER.

Hiltons Receive Star Treatment At Prison

One law for the rich and another for the poor ?

The visit came less than a week after Paris Hilton was reassigned to house arrest days after being jailed for violating parole. The 26-year-old celebutard was later ordered back to jail to serve her sentence and has ended up in a plush medical facility in a room as big as a hotel room. Her parents visited her on Tuesday and breezed right up to the front of the line without waiting for hours as the common folk do.  It was of course, a media circus.

One visitor to the at the Twin Towers Correctional Facility waited more than 4 hours to visit her fiance and she blamed the Hiltons for the delay. Another visitor was hustled out of the jail’s visiting room moments after her husband walked in because of the Hiltons appearance. She was told to come back after lunch.

Steve Whitmore, a sheriff’s spokesman, said it was routine for high-profile inmates to receive visitors during lunch, a time when the visiting room is normally cleared out and closed. Yeah, ok.

The Hilton’s jail visit came shortly after the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors ordered Sheriff Lee Baca to respond by next week to allegations of favoritism for reassigning Hilton to house arrest. At the time, Baca cited an undisclosed medical condition as the reason for making the decision. Hilton was sent to a medical ward, where sheriff’s officials said it costs $1,109.78 a day to house a female inmate compared to $99.64 a day in the general population. Mary Tiedeman, who regularly visits the jails as a monitor for the ACLU, said the area where Hilton was being housed was usually reserved for high-security inmates or those worse off than Hilton has appeared. “I don’t know what her health issue is, but you have got to have a pretty intense medical or mental health problem to be in that part of the jail,” she said.

It’s certainly obvious that Paris Hilton is a nutcase.

On a side note, Barbara Walters thinks it would be fun to have her as a co-host on The View.  I’m not kidding.   Barbara Walters is just as crazy as the Hiltons.

Paris Will Not Appeal

TMZ is reporting tonight that Paris Hilton has released a statement saying blah blah blah blah, important lesson, blah blah blah, media, blah blah, I told my lawyers not to appeal blah blah blah I will serve my sentence .. blah blah blah the Iraq.

Paris Hilton, The Yo-Yo

So, where to begin with this? Today after all kinds of confusion deputies arrived at Paris Hilton’s West Hollywood home, handcuffed her and put her in the police car to take her to court. The judge wasn’t amused that the media had widely reported that Paris was going to “appear” in court today by phone. He ordered her to be picked up and brought to court and the sheriff’s office said he had no right to do that. Well in the end the judge got his way and Paris arrived at court a couple hours late.

The hearing took over an hour and the judge made it clear how unhappy he was with the decision of the sheriff’s department to directly go against his previous order which specified no electronic monitoring, ie no house arrest for Hilton. I mean honestly, sentencing her to live in her luxurious pad with no visitor or alcohol restrictions … what kind of punishment is that? Paris reportedly sobbed during the hearing and screamed when the judge ordered her back to jail to finish out her sentence. She tried to move towards her parents but guards grabbed her arms and moved her out of the courtroom. She yelled out “Mom, Mom”. Her mom was also sobbing and got a hug from the dad Hilton.

So, Paris Hilton is back in jail and reportedly in the medical ward for her mental problems. Word is that her mental state is deteriorating rapidly and that’s why they put her on house arrest in the first place. Well, I also heard that when she went to jail the first time on Sunday night she quit taking her prescription medication that could possibly keep her semi-sane during all of this. Obviously boycotting her pills hasn’t worked out too well for her so far.

I think it’s all so ridiculous. It had seemed that Paris Hilton has resigned herself to spending the 23 or so days in jail.  She turned herself in ready to serve her sentence. Maybe I’m going soft on this now, but I do kind of feel sorry for her a little bit at the moment. If they would have just kept her in jail she wouldn’t have gotten her hopes up about the whole house arrest/ankle bracelet thing.  They let her go home. As loopy as that was I think it was pretty cruel to drag her back out and make a media spectacle of her again and then throw her back in prison. The whole thing today never should have happened because she never should have left jail to begin with! Paris isn’t the only one who’s lost the plot. The sheriff’s department is to blame for all of this. There was a motion to show cause, re: contempt against them today but it was dismissed.

Hilton’s lawyers will be appealing today’s ruling on Monday. I don’t look for it to go too well, but you never know. I never thought I’d feel sorry for Paris but in some ways I do now, just a little bit. I know she got herself into this mess and she has to pay the price for it, but did she deserve to become a yo-yo between the sheriff’s department and the court?

Oh well, I’ve dispensed my pity for now. Probably by tomorrow I’ll be over it. It won’t take long for more stupidity to come along in this case to make me harden my heart again towards Paris Hilton. I’m pretty sure about that.

After this whole fiasco is over we will have to deal with the Nicole Richey sentencing thing. Or maybe the two dramas will overlap so as for no room for filler in the tabliods between the two. Someone recently asked Lionel Richey if Nicole was pregnant… and he said he didn’t know.  So that’s another story waiting to unfold. I’ll rant about why stupid people shouldn’t have children when the time comes.

Oh Pu-leeeze! Paris Released From Jail

I haven’t been writing much about Paris Hilton in the last few days because frankly even I have been sick of hearing the blow-by-blow accounts from her full body cavity search to her razor free shower experiences. It was jail! That’s what normally happens when a person goes to jail.. right?

Well I guess all of the sucking up Paris Hilton did while she was behind bars paid off. Early this morning she was released from jail and “reassigned” to house arrest. Reports are that she served 5 days but I only counted 3… but then again my math skills have never been all that good.

The “official” reason they are saying she was fitted with an ankle bracelet and put on house arrest was medical. Apparently she was about to have a nervous breakdown behind bars and of course no one wanted that to happen.

Paris will be under house arrest for 40 days. Now she will have 3,000 or 4,000 square feet to roam rather than the 90 square feet of a prison cell. It’s a bit less like a zoo at her home… I guess. Now she can shave and wax to her heart’s content and have body cavity searches from those she chooses.

Paris Hilton Abandons Appeal

So today a hearing was scheduled for Paris and her new lawyer to appeal her 45 day jail sentence.

At the last minute Paris abandoned her appeal. It may have something to do with the fact that the same judge who sentenced her was to hear the appeal.

It is reported that Paris will do about 23 days as long as she behaves herself and she will be locked up in a part of the jail reserved for cops and public figures. She may have a cellmate but she won’t be in the general population.

I think her attorney must have advised her that this was the best deal she was going to get and the appeal was worthless. So Paris will report to jail on June 5.

The governor had many more important things to think about so she won’t be getting a pardon either.

Will The Governator Pardon Paris?

There is a petition on the Internet asking Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton. And yes, it is totally serious. Thousands of people are “signing” this waste of space. Umm… remember Tookie Williams? Arnold was under pressure to pardon him too and now he’s dead. The governor’s office stated that he would only act in extraordinary circumstances. Paris honey, suck it up, you are not extraordinary!

Paris Hilton Files Notice of Appeal

Well, surprise!

Just as expected Paris Hilton filed a notice with the court yesterday stating that she plans to appeal her 45 day jail sentence. Her lawyers will have to prove that the trial judge was way off base with his decision. We’ll see how this plays out.